Posted by: check868 | May 24, 2008

A fantasy

So, I’m playing with Tom tonight and we’re going to do a scene. I’ve played with people, but I’ve never done a scene before, and honestly, I’m kind of scared. Being a domme is fucking hard. And I like him so I want it to be a really good scene, but I feel like a virgin that wants to have really good sex on her wedding night: it’s not going to happen.

I’ve been trying to think of a fantasy that I can really buy into, since it’s been a long time since I played make-believe. I think I’m going to go with Warrior Queen and her captive. I’ll get him naked and tie him up a bit, and tell him that I want him to be one of my personal slaves, that I am going to force him to be mine, heart and soul.

I want to put a collar and leash on him (mental note: buy a collar and leash today), kick him to the ground (is that too rough?), drag him to my chair, beat him over my knee (is that too domestic for an Amazon fantasy?) until his butt is bright pink (we’re going to a movie later, what if he can’t sit down?), bind him hand and foot and “rape” him. Ooh, and I can force him to wear a buttplug, too.

In parentheses are negative thoughts I’ve been having about various parts of the fantasy. I thought it was terribly sexy watching the lesbian top at Paddles kicking her girlfriend, but I’m afraid of actually hurting Tom. I guess I shouldn’t be, he can always stop me if I am.

Okay, thinking it through, soothing my nerves… better, more organized, more confident version:

Collar, leash, and bind him. Wrestle him to the floor and “force” a butt plug in. Maybe I should get a gag or blindfold, too. “Get up!” I’ll yell, yanking on his leash. Drag him around and kick him. Add some rope or Saran wrap so he can’t really move at all. Shove him over my knee and spank him until he sobs. (The butt plug should make the spanking a little more exciting.) Throw him on his back and rape him. If I ejaculate again, I’ll have him lick it off my fingers. I wonder if I could control it to the extent that I could come on his face? That would be hot, although difficult. After that, I’ll tell him that he is now mine, and I am going to mark my territory. Drag him, hobbling, to the bathtub. Squat right over him and piss on his chest and face. Comfort him and tell him that his ordeal is now over, release his bonds, although maybe keeping the blindfold, definitely keeping the leash and collar. Tell him that, as my slave, he must bathe me. Have him wash my hair and body, then let him wash up. I’d like to blow him, although I can’t think of a very dominant position to do so in in the bathtub. Then he can eat me out with me standing over him. Then we can cuddle up until we’re warm and dry, and then we can go to dinner and a movie.

Mental notes: I need to check what Tom’s limits are, specifically piss play and rape. I doubt he’ll have a problem with either, but you never know. Also, looking it over, now I’m thinking maybe it’s too complicated a scene to try first time out. It does turn me on a lot, though. I guess I’ll try it, I’ll judge his reactions, I can always trim things. I’ll try to keep things at the right pitch.

Did I mention it’s hard being a domme?

And on the purely technical side, I had to pick up a bunch of supplies. I went to a pet store to get a collar and leash. I wasn’t sure if the collar was the right size and this other customer came over and started jabbering about her dog. She was distracted for a moment, and I quickly put the collar around my neck to make sure it would fit around Tom’s. Somewhat embarassing to do in public, but I’m sure pet stores see it all the time. I also got a bunch of hooks from the hardware store. I mounted some small hooks at each corner of my bed, so in the future I can tie people spread-eagle. I also mounted a big hook on each end of my living room so I can hook Tom’s leash to one end and his feet to the other.

I’m so scared and excited…

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